After two long years of study, I am delighted to announce to the American people that I have finally come to understand the true nature of the Trump Presidency. For those who remain confused as to the nature of this phenomenon, I have outlined twelve, easy to understand, brief and hopefully precise descriptions of what it means to be a follower of the President.

1. You shall have no other leader but Donald Trump.
    
2. Whatever Donald Trump says or tweets shall be taken as the truth at all times and in all matters.
    
3. His administrators shall be seen as the disciples of his truth and shall be afforded protection and pardon at all times for any wrong doing (unless the President tweets otherwise)
    
4. Those who oppose Trump shall be called leftist, liberal, socialist, ungodly, communist and un-American and be cast into the wilderness. (A comprehensive list of appropriate insults can be provided free of charge. Please send SAE.)
    
5. The Word of Trump is enshrined in Fox News, which is the only true source of fact and genuine opinion.
    
6. News organizations, which oppose Trump or criticize him must be ignored and seen for what they are, blasphemers, and purveyors of falsehood and the enemies of the people. (See 4)
    
7. All disasters, financial, social and economic, past, present and future are the result of former Presidents particularly the black one. And also the direct result of those who oppose and undermine the policies of our beloved leader.
    
8. Those who fail to support the Make American Great again movement must be re-educated. (Special camps are being built for them and their children at the borders).
    
9. All Trump supporters must understand that white people are the superior race and the only true immigrants and must be promoted at all times. Women and colored people must remember they're subservient origins and must look to their white masters for guidance in all things.
    
10. The laws of the land and its system of justice must always be subordinate to the will of our President and his administrators and supporters.
     
11. Only the rich will inherit or deserve to be listened to. All Trump supporters are entitled to marry at least three times and to have sex with whomever they want.
     
12. Foreigners, old friends and foes alike must be judged only on what they contribute financially to America, and not by how many of their own peoples they have tortured, imprisoned, executed, assassinated, starved or brainwashed.

By adhering steadfastly to the above doctrines and following the path laid before them, Donald Trump, our benefactor and true leader promises to devote every hour of his life to making American Great Again. Those who wish to become an integral part of the Great Trump Presidency should download their application from the White House and send it and all their personal details and latest bank accounts with copies of their signature immediately to:

The Trump Trust
c/o Dante Alighieri
3-8 Inferno Circle, Elm Street
City of Hopelessness, US 6666