Here on the deck of the SS United States, under repair and listing badly because of a hole in the side from a trumpedo hit, our two reporters, Lowry and Goldberg, have sent us their analysis. Goldberg ignores the dangers to the ship posed by the Jan 6th attack and the inquiry trying to get to the bottom of it because he is certain everything is to blame on the new Captain Biden, who failed to copy the policies of Captain Clinton. Lowry thinks the real issue is not the attempts by the crew to sink the ship or the terrible sickness depleting crew numbers but because SS Germany is not turning up because they are scared of giving the Russians carte blanche to attack Ukraine by only sending a field hospital. And how dare they sell arms to other countries only on condition they are not used by terrorists. So Russian forces would be highly motivated by a German presence. So what! As impartial commentators on politics, it's comforting to know that our two commentators are using their talents to rid us of the incompetent Captain Biden and prepare the ground for the return of Captain Trump waiting in the wings with his supporters to make the US great again or give it the coup de grace!