It has been brought to the public's attention that parents and Republican politicians are disturbed by the corrosive effects of exposing children to a curriculum which allows their child to look at naked body parts - particularly those of Michelangelo's sculpture of David. Most of the ills of our society can surely be attributed to this wanton disrespect for clothing and the corrupting influence of nakedness on human psychology. As one Republican politician in Tucson rightly pointed out, the sight of a man's sexual organ can lead to any number of criminal acts and must be regarded as pornographic. Luckily for us Michelangelo had the good sense to sculpt David's private much smaller than the average, hoping, I assume, not to inflame the jealousies of men whose private parts are smaller or subjecting women to unnecessary libido. Men of smaller penis size in Arizona have a plentiful supply of AK47s as substitute. Nevertheless particular attention must be paid to exposing children to the sight of the male thingy. I prefer the word "dong" but I do not wish to offend any Vietnamese in Arizona for whom 23465 dongs equal a dollar. All books mentioning dongs, pictures of dongs whether artistic or otherwise must be burned. The employment contracts of any teacher in Arizona guilty of mentioning "dongs" or exposing children to them must be terminated immediately.