Alan S. Austin
Arizona Playwright • Writer • Poet
  

We Don't Need No Education (3/20)

At last The President is getting rid of the Department of Education. Education in this new age is unnecessary and turns people into liberals and makes everyone unhappy. Look at all the trouble we have at our universities. People can get all the education they need by watching Fox News. Being able to read a few of the letters of the alphabet and know an odd number or two should be quite enough. Most shops and eating places are easily identifiable by their signs. Every year we waste billions of dollars on teachers' salaries and the upkeep of schools when just passing a few simple tests on a computer at home should be quite enough. Think how much money will be saved and you don't have to worry about who goes into whose toilet or anything like that. We don't need schools or principals or school boards or anything like that. More money saved. We've fallen so far behind international educational standards and our economy still does O.K. So why waste time and money? We don't need no education.