The newspaper is such a pleasant read these days particularly about local politics. I know all about what the governor is up to and her veto pen. I know about local exciting stories of corruption and skulduggery. I'm entranced by the news of the expansion of a factory making stun guns. It's exciting and I do not have to learn, thank goodness, about all the lies the President and his staff circulate, about the horrors being perpetrated by executive orders, about the dangers of not vaccinating children for measles and mumps and whooping cough, about immigrants being hounded and rounded up by big guys with guns and sent to foreign lands. Thank goodness. Thank you The Arizona Republic. We need peace and calm and serenity, not all this silly bickering and upset. Republican politicians in Arizona can rest assured that The Arizona Republic has their back. Fox News ought to be the official channel on the TV, truly representative of what patriotic Americans believe. We can all look forward to a rosy future. We have a real man in charge of America at last. And the sports coverage is fantastic. Go golf, football and baseball. I am so looking forward to seeing tanks rolling down Pennsylvania Ave.

PS. I hope our tank commanders have been taught to salute as smartly as Russian tank commanders do at their May Day parade in Red Square.