Alan S. Austin
Arizona Playwright • Writer • Poet
  

The Annual Progress Report

We have all been working very hard on Doomsday.
Much to our surprise it is going well and should settle
The score and increase productivity across the range.
The Flood Rain and Tempest Section has been turned up
And is now working at full capacity. Good! About time!
The Dead Counting Dial shows significant improvement
For the week. Overdose Accident and Suicide recorded
Record levels and now the Second Wave Pandemic Spread
Is increasing productivity almost to previous heights.
Keep working on those new viral mutations!
More effort please in the General Disease Department.
Proportionate age death rates are going down.
Unfortunately the Warfare figures have not increased
As expected given the proliferation of nuclear weapons
But levels remain consistent with population rises.
Congratulations to the Temperature Department
For working out the carbon dioxide co-efficiencies.
I know this was to compensate for the lack of asteroid hits
But it seems to be working well and in a few year's time
Should bring all departments to new levels of productivity.
You Water Shortage people are doing a fantastic job,
As well as the Wind and Fire Department.
Good to see the team working on post apocalyptic
Contingencies coming up with exciting new life forms.
Not to forget the Ignorance Brigade. Sterling work
Within all the medias. We do not want human beings
To have to understand what is happening to them.
Far too painful. So congratulations to all departments.
Keep up the good work. Everyone, repeat after me.
"We are all in this together. Apocalypse Forever."